In response to my away message:...
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: we look upon the cured thinking "it's only a matter of time until he's riddled with it again."
Me: so what I'm hearing is that our homosexuality is like cancer in a lot of ways
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: the more unhealthy your lifestyle, the more likely it is you have it.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: odds are, someone in your family has dealt with it.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: If your family has a history of it, you are at a much higher risk.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: most experiment with it in college.
Me: Homosexualtiy is like cancer: you can get it from bareback sex.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: supporters of its victims usually wear pink.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: it comes from broken homes.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: it can lead to strange growths
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: usually treatable with surgery.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: having a good attitude is important for recovery.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: illegal in Iran.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: Many have to seek backdoor treatment.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: a side effect of abortion.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: it is an expensive affliction.
Brett: then homosexuality and cancer are like my fashion sense.
Me: Correct.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: trying to make something fit where it doesn't belong.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: a deviant behaviour.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: decreasing genetic variation by process of elimination.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: a leading source of mutants.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: it's considered polite to not talk about it
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: you can't get it just by sharing a drink with someone.
Me: Homosexualtiy is like cancer: it's been around forever, but it's grown more prevalent in recent years.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: it renders one unfit to raise a child.
Me: Homosexualtiy is like cancer: Many turn to god for solace.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: quick, call an Olsen twin.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: Nathan Lane has it.
Brett: Homosexuality is like cancer: playing someone with it can win you an Oscar.
Me: Homosexuality is like cancer: others around you often notice the signs before you do.
Sep 21st
I HAVE THE WORST LIFE
Me: Okay, time to leave.
Me: OH SHIT
Me: The host of the party is making out with the Guy with Cerebral Palsy right outside the door!
Me: Okay, I can leave. Be cool, man.
Host: OH HEY *stops making out with Palsy* Are you leaving?
Me: Yeah.
Host: Do you have that other guy's raspberry vodka?
Me: ... No. *goes to leave*
Host: *grabs on to my backpack*
Me: *continues walking*
Host: *falls down, because he is holding on to my backpack*
Palsy: *falls down, because he is holding hands with the guy who is holding on to my backpack*
Host: OW
Host: MY KNEE IS BLEEDING
Me: Let me see
Host: NO MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT BUT I CAN TOTALLY FEEL IT DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG
Me: Oh.
Me: I'm sorry.
Host: DO YOU HAVE THAT RASPBERRY VODKA
Me: No
Host: LOOK I CAN HEAR IT CLINKING AROUND IN YOUR BAG
Me: Okay, yes.
Me: *takes raspberry vodka out of backpack*
Me: Uh.
Me: Can I get a hug so I know I'll be invited to your next party?
Sep 13th