June 2012
0 posts
1 tag
May 2012
21 posts
whydoihaveablog replied to your post: girllustrator replied to your chat: I hate you…
You’re just upset that you don’t know how to rap, though, right? That’s why you were angry, I bet. Mm.
Wh… what? No… no, that…
*breathless, muffled sobs*
girllustrator replied to your chat: I hate you guys
How did you find a worse city to move to?! Next stop — Mississippi Burning!
Well, if it’s awkward jokes here, compared to being called an n-bomb by accident when I beat someone in Mario Kart, and being referred to as “not one of THOSE black people” in Boston, I’d pick here.
I've been in Chicago for almost three months
Still no idea what a Chicago police officer/car looks like
Things you do when you live alone
Eat shirtless because you don’t want to stain your shirts
2 tags
I hate you guys
Stranger: Are you black?
Me: Not quite.
Stranger: What ethnicity are you?
Me: I'm black and irish.
Stranger: *bursts out laughing*
Stranger: So you're an angry drunk who knows how to rap?
Me: So, you're a racist!
1 tag
Four day weekenddddddd
GOODBYE TO PANTS, HELLO TO ALCOHOLISM
1 tag
Minority Problems
If you describe a neighborhood as “not diverse”, and they say, “That’s okay, I don’t like being shot at”, you should probably give up on getting laid that night.
I've been playing Draw something!
My User name is Gear Kitty, if anyone feels like seeing me mangle drawing the word “optometrist”.
Currently, I am playing with the venerable LordThundercox.tumblr.com [Brett], who was nice enough to pretend that my drawing of the word “xray” was in any way coherent. It may not have photographically depicted it, but dammit, it sure did capture the spirit of x-raying.
2 tags
dinosaurduplex:
Today I asked Robert how I could become tumblr famous. Anyone have any suggestions for me?
NUDES OR GET OUT
They set up a free espresso bar at work today
Me: Can I get a iced cappuccino?
Coffee Boy: Well, we’re gonna leave soon.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, never mind then.
Coffee Boy: No, I was just going to ask if you wanted two cappuccinos. Since we’re going to leave.
Me: Yes
Me: YES
Me: *unbuttons shirt * YESSSSSS
1 tag
"Tough Mudder" appears to be a marathon that...
How I feel about non-drinkers
Me: Hey, welcome! Can I get you a drink?
Stranger: Oh, no, I'll just have water.
Me: GET OUT
1 tag
The Sweet Release of Weekend
I am going to embrace and make love to my bed for the next two days. Do not disturb me. The only way this would be more erotic for me is if I had a water bed but instead of water, it was vodka, and the bed had a straw in it.
How much money do you think 7-11 would make if they sold slushees in bean bag chairs? With curly straws?
I hate that no matter how much I want to or bargain with myself, I ultimately know that I should never actually eat those packets of dry silica gel that say “DO NOT EAT” on them.
1 tag
April 2012
14 posts
3 tags
Dear Chicago
This is the first time I’ve been at a bar past 2! well, officially. There’s a certain bar in Boston that I used to hang out at til 5 because, ha ha, I’m 21 and oh my gawd, are you guys giving me a drink?! CRAY CRAY. But this is the first time I’ve been at a bar past 2 am where lots of other people were there. After hearing so much about the slushees at sidetrack, I had one....
Anonymous asked: Why does Wine Wednesday sound like how you would do Fellatio Friday?
WINE WEDNESDAY
CHUG IT
DRINK IT
PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH
Did you know there's a ConEd and a ComEd? And...
And ConEd gets real pissed off if you call them and you’re supposed to be calling ComEd?
2 tags
Improper Workplace Language
Every time you save a code change to a shared resource in most modern programming teams, you are asked to write a small message. Most of the time I write things that accurately describe the change, but if I’m bored or angry, I write whatever I want.
Today I discovered that my entire company can see these messages, and they scroll as a ticker in our project management software, even to...
What do you guys prefer?
When I post too much (see: when I was moving in march) or too little (see: every other time)?
My all day meeting started with the seminar leader saying “Because I was late, does anyone have anything preventing them from staying until 6:30?”
I may die here
After going to Chicago's Second City twice:
You would think it would be impossible to write a sketch that doesn’t rely on broad racial stereotypes.
There was an asian woman performer who kept doing Margaret Cho’s mom voice, and I was like “LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF. FIND YOUR OWN VOICE.” It was especially weird because there didn’t seem to be a reason for it a lot of the time. In one of the sketches it was used...
Chicago update
Things are going okay here. I just got my couch on thursday. Do couches need to be broken in? Every time I sit on a cushion, it gets an ENORMOUS imprint of my ass that will take a bit to fluff back out , and it makes me feel like I have a special ass preserving couch. That one day, future civilizations will unearth my couch and use my ass print to estimate my proportions, and a wax model of me...
sombritaperdida-deactivated2012 asked: Hi, I live in Chicago and I'm thinking about moving to Boston this summer. Having experienced both cities, how do they compare to each other?
March 2012
32 posts
I wish my name was Allen, so I could call my dick...
Because it gets used on a lot of cheap furniture.
Is it weird that I'm afraid to turn my dishwasher...
I just don’t know what it’s capable of yet.
1 tag
I fixed my computer, yeeey
Now I just need to open all these other shitty boxes of stuff I thought I needed. Oh, and make friends. Those are two other things I should get done this weekend.
I’m gonna slow down my rate of posting now, but thanks to everyone who seemed to enjoy my erotic tale of relocation. You’re all the real heroes. You guys!
Seems like the UPS broke my computer
Well, they broke part of it for sure. Guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see if I can fix it. Outlook isn’t great. Fingers crossed, y’all.
(Side note: damn, this area of town lights UP on the weekend)
1 tag
Yes, I am washing my dishes before I use them. This is because I was not raised in a barn.
Somewhere between buying things and mixing up what...
Adjusting my internal clock to central time has made it impossible to think straight.
Phrenology
saleswoman: What are you?
me: Black and Irish.
Saleswoman: I can tell. You're really light.
Me: mm.
Saleswoman: You don't have American black features.
Me: ...
I finally snapped.
I started pointing at stuff and shouting “Bring this to my manor!”