December 2011
3 posts
Do people still have foot fetishes?
I feel like they’re passe now. Hey, remember how before the internet, if you wanted to depict a character as creepy, you would give them a foot fetish? Now they have to be fist deep in a Japanese love doll to even register on the ‘odd’ radar.
Anonymous asked: how u feel about internet explorer 9 on wp7.5 ... its pretty awesome in comparison ... u should get mh onto getting m2 working on that shit!
Anonymous asked: It is always interesting to realize that you deleted a post hours later...
November 2011
4 posts
My Birth Plan
You know what I’m tired of? Funny movies and TV shows that have a character giving birth, and then they cant’ do their birth plan ‘cos they need a C-section or the baby is coming out feet first or something. For one, it’s a cheap way to create drama, especially when no comedy is really gonna kill a baby. For another, wouldn’t it be a lot funnier if they did do the...
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Manhunt Labs: Sleep tight. →
manhuntlabs:
Our development team won’t be. I was thinking of having a creepy guy I know with a clown voice and a bullhorn call them at 5 AM… but they’re fully capable of waking up on their own.
They’ll be up deploying releases tomorrow while you Eastern-timers are sleeping, and you oh-so-hot boys from…
This. This is why I had to be up so early. Also, Timmy, what’s up with the...
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October 2011
10 posts
3 tags
A black guy just tried to get my attention on the...
When did we stop calling each other brother? Is that passe now? I gotta renew my subscription to Vibe.
The kind of person I am
I don’t THINK I did it drunk, but apparently when my Touchpad asked me to give the device a name, I decided to call it “The Loveosaurus”.
Do you ever feel like that you live half your life in some kind of fugue state, and every story about you or strange evidence of earlier actions is a complete shock? “Wait, I said what? To their FACE? Do I have… tact?”
All...
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My cousin posted a picture of her and my dad...
First off, seeing your family on facebook is horrifying.
Second off, it is taking literally ALL of my willpower to not comment “I hope you guys weren’t planning my intervention”.
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The Jersey Shore Drinking Game
Because my 30 Rock drinking game post is oddly popular, burn.tumblr.com is now solely a drinking game blog.
Drink any time someone says ‘situation’ and is not referring to The Sitch
Drink any time a new word is invented
Drink whenever someone falls
Drink when JWoww’s tits are awesome
Drink whenever Sammie says “Stawp it rahhhnie”
Drink whenever you feel that...
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Manhunt Labs: Finally, no more censored... →
manhuntlabs:
It’s probably no surprise to anybody reading this that the iTunes App Store and Android Market frown upon any apps that contain adult content. To comply with their policies, we’ve replaced explicit content with a “Too Hot for iPhone (or Android)” icon.
We know you hate these icons.
But I have great news. We’ve released our new Manhunt Mobile (for iPhone/iPad/Android) to members...
New Manhunt Mobile Website for iPhone/Android just...
Dear Gays: Check out http://m2.manhunt.net on your mobile device and enjoy all the Sencha-y HTML5 goodness.
September 2011
6 posts
I feel like my excitement about Fall television...
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I wonder if I can go one day without saying the...
Fuck you, I'll eat as many frozen mini pizzas as I...
If I ever murder someone, rest assured, it will be...
The assholes in my building don’t know how to do laundry. There’s four washers and four dryers for about 50 apartments, and there’s always a broken washer.
These hitlers leave their fucking clothes in the washer for HOURS after they’re done. Why am I the only person who sets an timer on their phone for when wash is done? Is it because I am the SMARTEST FUCKING PERSON IN...
August 2011
7 posts
Anonymous asked: How is the dating going (or are you single)?
Anonymous asked: Why can't I find you on Manhunt?
I use Tumblr to tell what day of the week it is
A bunch of people posting links to their Ask boxes? Must be TMI Tuesday!
Drunk Conversations on Manhunt
Me: "the beauty is inside you"? What the shit does that mean?
Him: chris brown beautiful people
Me: Oh. Well. Chris brown is a 22 year old who not long ago beat the shit out of his girlfriend. So. I wouldn't take life advice from his songwriters.
6 AM releases bitter us
Me: Guys! Let's all make a pact to be unhelpful for the rest of the day.
Coworker: No.
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July 2011
11 posts
Went to P-Town with my Sister's [gay male] friends...
Sister's friend: Sorry for showing you my hole last night.
Me: I think I was asleep for that.
Sister's friend: Yeah, I know.
Sister's friend: I still feel pretty bad about it, though.
A quick guide on how to tell if someone is gay:
...
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If I could grind up glazed donuts into a powder...
noodlesandbeef:
…There’s been a resurgence of psychiatrists using psychoactive drugs to treat difficult problems. For me, it was the most therapeutic ”trip” of my life.
I won’t get into detail of my 8-hour spirit journey (laugh if you must, there’s really no other word to describe what happened), but the most noticeable effect was that it turned off my...
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There should be a word to define the sensation you get when you start singing a song out loud, or to someone, then realize that the song has lyrics in it that you don’t want to say, like the N-Bomb, or “I love you”, and then you trail off, often thinking that the other person knows exactly why you stopped singing, and what word it is that you don’t want to say, and now...
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A genuine question
My cab bill came out to 8.30. I gave him 10.00. Is that fair?
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The Sencha Touch App I've been working on for...
After about a million near releases, feature creeps, and meetings where I mutter things under my breath, the new, uncensored Manhunt Mobile for iPhone and Android just went live in MA (If you live in Massachusetts, check your Manhunt Mail about it).
I’ve learned way too much about Sencha Touch in the process, and am considering writing more about it, or contributing to Sencha.com or...
3 tags
I'm tired
Me: Hello?
Phone: Hello, this is Sprint, We're calling to speak to Burn?
Me: Oh. Uh... he's not here.
Phone: Well then, to whom am I speaking?
Me: His... wife...
Phone: Well then, if I could just tell you why I am calling, in regards to his
Me: Whoa, whoa, stop. Sorry, but we don't share those kind of details with each other.
Phone: Oh, okay, when can I call back?
Me: ... Later.
Phone: Okay, I will ca
Me: (click)
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Ever have a cab driver ask you if they should take...
Me: Yeah, um... take... this turn... and then drive down the second street.... No, just... just drop me off here.
My Inner Monologue: Do I look like a fucking gps? What am I even paying you for? NOT TO TALK TO ME THAT'S FOR GOD DAMN SURE
June 2011
18 posts
Me: Wait, what did you say?
Coworker: What?
Me: Just now.
Me: I know I said "Yes", like I was listening, but I wasn't.
Me: So... what did you say earlier?
Coworker: Oh, so you were just yessing me? I do that too.
Me: Right.
Me: But what'd you say?
Me: *silent*
Me: Also, what did our other coworker say when they came in just now?
Me: I wasn't listening to her either.
Me: *starts laughing*
Me: I only got three hours of sleep last night.
Me: Becuase I woke up on Sunday at 4:30 PM.
Coworker: Sounds like fun.
Me: Ha ha ha, my life is in shambles.
Grindr is Inane
Guy: ill let u have desert off my 6pack lol
Me: Can I choose the dessert?
Guy: Lol sure ! What u have in mind :p
Me: Creme Brulee
Manhunt Labs: How do I bottom? →
manhuntlabs:
So, I suppose the first thing you should do is get a brillo pad, and scrub REALLY HARD down there.
Manhunt started a new blog to talk about our products and strategies and upcoming new features, etcetera. Let’s just say it’s already veered wildly off course. I look forward to seeing more scenic detours from it.
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realfabo asked: make sure to close your chrome to upgrade ;)
weshallbekind asked: Do you have a facebook?
When you realize you're not as fun as you think...
Sister: I can't believe you've never been to P-Town.
Me: Nope!
Sister: It's just a ferry ride away. Don't you have friends who go there?
Me: Well, yeah....
Me: They just don't invite me.
A list of medical professions I don't respect
I think Dentists are actually pretty okay. I mean, what they do isn’t Rocket Surgery, but they do a few things, they do it well, and they’re generally not jerks, in my experience. Sure, they slam metal hooks in your mouth, but at least there’s a reason for that, and afterwards you can be like “Oh hey, my teeth are definitely cleaner”. I don’t appreciate the...