2008

Oct

SUSHI POPE
Oct 11th

A serious thought

Maybe this is just me, but I find part of me deciding whether I’m seriously interested in...
Oct 6th
Jimmy: SAINTS PERSERVE US I'M IN OIR-LAND
Jimmy: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
Jimmy: I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER
Me: quotable
Me: YOUR INTERNETS IS RUNNING OUT
Jimmy: 1 min
Jimmy: what shall i do
Me: IT IS WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL A "TIME CRISIS"
Me: asianthumbs.com
Jimmy: i have two hours to kill and a huge backpack
Jimmy: 50 seconds
Jimmy: oh god this is not a real link
Jimmy: this just goes to another thumb page!
Jimmy: THIS IS A RUSE
Jimmy: LINK SHARING
Jimmy: I AM AGHAST
Me: AND DOOMED
Me: DOOMBED
Jimmy: HOW DO I GET REAL FOTOS
Jimmy: doombed!
Jimmy: oh god no 11 seconds
Jimmy: quick
Me: http://www.meatspin.com
Meebo Message: Jimmy is offline
Oct 6th
Oct 4th

What's Your Tumblr Number?

barbara:         David’s Mom:  46!  Go figure! joelaz: Tumblr assigns a sequential number to...
Oct 3rd
Me: why the fuck didn't you RSVP
John: cuz i wanted to know what moderately expensive meant
Me: and I told you what it meant
John: yet left me wanting soo much more
Me: that's the mark of a good lover
John: no, that's the mark of a terrible lover
John: what is wrong with you
John: a good lover leaves you fullfilled and asleep
Me: pshhh
Me: that's much less exciting
John: i sir do not care for this blue balls wanting more crap that you are selling
Me: It's not my fault you treat sexual opportunities as a going out of business sale and stuff everything into your grocery cart to hoard up for the long winter
John: oh man, you just called me a sexual bag lady, it is so on!!!!
Me: Bring it
John: consider it brung biznitch
Oct 2nd
Cupcakes from my co-workers for my birhday. The dripping...
Oct 2nd

Actual Notes found on Chris's Computer...

the last TWSS: armageddonTWSS-land ceases to existone guy says to the other guy:“Geez, I...
Oct 2nd

Sep

“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes:...”
— Aristotle (via zehnuhr) (via...
Sep 29th
Sep 28th

I wish I had realized one could fuck...

Teacher: Robert, wake up! Wake up!
Me: Ugh. Sorry, I kept having nightmares last night about my dead cat.
Teacher: What? I'm sorry. Nightmares?
Me: Yeah.
Teacher: That's terrible. When did your cat die?
Me: About a year ago, I think.
Teacher: Was it violent?
Me: No... It was very peaceful. It was a good death.
Teacher: So, you're having nightmares about your dead cat who died peacefully.
Me: Yeah.
Teacher: Are you on something?
Me: Drugs?
Teacher: I mean, really, because if you're hallucinating without any drugs, that's pretty bad.
Me: Well, I'm not on any right now, but if you're offering...
Teacher: *stares in dumbstruck silence*
Me: *maintains eye contact*
Class: *slowly and awkwardly laughs*
Sep 26th
Google, you fucks. Way to do what you do best. Plagiarise...
Sep 24th
I think every group of homosexuals has a mental chart of who...
Sep 22nd
Sep 22nd
david: Microsoft just handed me the most disgusting liquor. Vista Vodka? Mojave Mojito? Word Whisky?...
Sep 18th
Warch Watch
An incredible music video from the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. TOMORROW AT TEN...
Sep 18th

It's been hours and no one has said...

Sep 15th
I sketched up a tumblr Design for a friend, but I...
Sep 8th
I find it strikingly strange when things I’ve quoted or posted on my Tumblr show up on...
Sep 8th

I feel sorry for people named Alana.

‘cos everytime I read their name, I at first read “Anal.” Sorry, Morisette....
Sep 7th
I love Seth Rogen.
Sep 5th

It took even less time for Roomie to...

Sep 4th

Aug

Oh, I do so hope you’ll join us for another Fuck You...
Aug 29th

It took a scant two days for the Wii Fit...

Abandon all flab, ye who enter our apartment.
Aug 27th
Listen Listen
extrafirmhold: Lykke Li - “I’m good i’m gone” (Metronomy remix) Bangin’ remixes guys. Also your own...
Aug 27th

In The Interest of Breaking up the...

Hi. What have I been up to lately? I’m in my first apartment, so budgeting myself is hard....
Aug 26th

Classic AIM Follies

Visentin: I dont even know where this comment came from "SomeGuyOnAim: i won't care because [your ass] will belong to me"
Me: DUDE HE THINKS YOU ARE DATING
Visentin: I feel uncomfortable
Me: now is the time to etiher A) be like "What?" or B) ignore him forever.
Visentin: omg
Visentin: breathing uncomfortable!
Me: easy there tiger
Me: so what if the dude is sweet on you
Me: just step back and say you're not interested in a relationship right now
Me: actually
Me: say it like it was always there
Me: "You know I'm not looking for a relationship, right?"
Visentin: You know you should just log onto my sn for me from now on take all my calls etc
Me: hahah
Me: we ARE each other's secretaries
Visentin: I know!
Visentin: O fuck I copied and pasted the quotation marks
Aug 26th
“Thanks for playing my video game! Hope it was...”
— Chris P.
Aug 26th
Man: (Begins taking off shirt in gym locker room)
Me: Er, Excuse me...
Man: (blinded by shirt, mistakenly strikes me across my noggin)
Me: Ow.
Man: Oh geez, sorry!
Man: Boy, that'd be funny, huh? Get a black eye in a locker room?
Me: Hahah, yeah. 'The attacker was half naked. it was weird.'
Man: (Laughs shortly)
Me: (Thinking) Boy, could I have made any comment more awkward?
Man: (Strips naked)
Me: (Thinking) Actually, this is probably already the most awkward thing.
Aug 25th
“So last year I went up to Lazy Bear,” says one of the...”
— Dogpoet, a honest to god blog...
Aug 20th
Configuring VoIP
Aug 18th
You are cordially invited to my Fuck You Friday!
Aug 15th
Warch Watch
This is exactly why I love It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and why everyone should watch...
Aug 13th
WordArt
Aug 13th
thegreatstraponexperiment: The Great Strap-On Experiment is going on indefinite hiatus. Thanks to...
Aug 9th
Oh my god, Tucker Max's movie script is...
Aug 5th
Is Julia Allison’s twitter icon SUPPOSED to look like...
Aug 5th
do not leave cones for the public to block streets with....
Aug 5th
nudawn: soupsoup:Karp and Cashmore mashing and tumbling....
Aug 5th

Insecure Women Need your Love and...

Spam of the Day.
Aug 3rd
David knows what this is. I started following Topher Chris a...
Aug 3rd

Jul

Who ARE these people who care about P....

Jul 31st
Via Pictures for Sad children
Jul 30th
“Really, I just want a nice, smart, safe, sane woman who...”
— Strap on Experiment (via...
Jul 29th

Another Day at the Office

Me: Amy, do you want your pen back?
Amy: (Our Secretary) Yes.
Me: Oh. *begins to walk away*
Amy: No?
Me: What do I get if I give it to you?
Amy: a blowjob?
Me: That's... inappropriate.
Amy: What do you want for it?
Me: Well, the truth is I can't give it to you because I accidentally MADE IT RUBBER *wiggles pen*
Amy: OHHHH NOOOOO~
Me: IT'S SO WACKY!
Boss: *closes door to his office*
Jul 29th
nudawn: Chelsea west I used to live in Chelsea, one of...
Jul 29th
Oh, Cuil.
Jul 28th

I only told him becuase I hoped he would...

Mikey: isn't it funny how intercourse no longer merits a nod hello?
Me: I think you picked the wrong person on your buddy list to relate to this phenomenon.
Mikey: oh, well, must be nice.
Me: It is.
Me: It is nice to nod.
Me: I'm putting this on my blog.
Jul 28th
phillip: Today, I missed San Francisco for no reason. Latent...
Jul 26th
A background I made for my dear, dear coworker.
Jul 25th
Spent quite a while with a friend discussing if this...
Jul 23rd
So far the primary effect of My Boss' new...
Jul 21st
My friend’s impression of his boy friend’s O...
Jul 20th
Someone coded a game that plays in A FAVICON....
Jul 19th
I really would make out with my power screwdriver. I really,...
Jul 17th
“Anyone who would letterspace blackletter would steal sheep.”
— Frederick Goudy (via annie) Hi...
Jul 15th
MOVING IS A DUMB THING
Jul 13th
Me: Complement me
Me: I demand it
Me: COMPLEMENT ME BECAUSE I AM CONSIDERING TAKING THE SMALLER BEDROOM BUT I WILL NOT UNLESS YOU FLATTER ME
Visentin: you're half white
Jul 11th
The view from my new apartment’s patio! :D
Jul 9th
Chris is not allowed to draw any more.
Jul 8th
JIMMY’S ON THE INTERNET
Jul 7th
Jul 7th
Fox news discovers Photshop and promptly uses it to distort...
Jul 3rd

And I shall rule with an iron fist

I hate that all of my impressive AJAX work is on private projects, locked behind administration...
Jul 2nd

I become irrationally angry when you...

Jul 2nd
Warch Watch
While I abhor posting Youtube videos, this is probably the best thing since sliced bread. TOPICAL...
Jul 1st

Jun

Air brush tattoos!
Jun 29th
I got to do this at work today. Sometimes I really think...
Jun 27th
Chris’s monastic lunch.
Jun 23rd
Stonewall Brawl
Jun 22nd
topherchris: Um, how does one show the full reblogging history of a post on a permalink page? I’ve...
Jun 18th
The first gay couple to get married in California....
Jun 17th
After reviewing http://customthemes.tumblr.com/ I have concluded the following things: A) Sans Serif...
Jun 15th
“why did you fucking CC me I don’t need to know this...”
— Me in an E-Mail I ALMOST sent...
Jun 12th
Stonewall Brawl
Jun 12th
I have to get what I hope will be the most embarassing medical procedure of my life tomorrow. If it...
Jun 12th

Cakewalk is not my friend

Me: so someone put a shitty song I did for a class on the internet
Josh: ..? LIIIINK.
Me: I just discovered it because my coworker started playing it and staring at me.
Me: and I was like "What is that. What are you doing. Why does that sound familiar. OH JESUS IS THAT THE SHIT I PUMPED OUT FOR THAT CLASS"
Me: I literally did it in like. a hour. while tired :{
Josh: LINK ME.
Me: (Link Omitted to save face)
Me: It's, uh, "Sandra Bullock stars in The Net" and I swear to god I did not title it that.
Jun 10th
“Did I ever tell you about the time in Thailand when I paid a...”
— Swear to god someone just said...
Jun 10th

Do people even bother saying they know...

I am now declaring that I am in a state of financial duress. This realization came to me when I...
Jun 10th

Alas, alack; forsooth!

I just realized how destructive microblogging and/or tumblr has been to my writing skills....
Jun 9th
COMEDY!
Jun 6th

May

“Evidently my mother has taken my brother aside and quietely...”
— Josh (this is why I have...
May 27th

I'm raising my hand but you can't see...

Raise your hand if you’ve ever gone to http://www.lipsum.com to copy a paragraph of lorem...
May 25th

Reflections on a first Tumblr Theme

After paging through my Tumblr wtih the new theme (Videos are borked, haven’t tested in MSIE...
May 23rd

I made a Tumblr Theme today!

In about four hours. I had been messing around with other designs, but I designed this on a lark,...
May 21st
Stephen: how's your stuff?
Me: Ever try to con your friends into going to something
Me: 'cos you wanna go but you can't go by yoruself
Stephen: yes.
Me: but you also don't want your friends to know you want to go 'cos they'd make fun of you
Me: so you're like "Oh hey, I guess theres nothing to do tonight... Oh, look at this silly little thing I happen to know aobut."
Stephen: wait. now i'm confused.
Stephen: where are you going, Dragon Con?
May 20th
May 20th
david: Suh-weet. My honorary degree just got here. Just...
May 19th
Ironically, done on my Mother’s Computer, in...
May 17th

I knew I was gay because...

Every once in a while, I have a strange urge to listen to/watch the video of Hey Mickey
May 14th

Minor annoyances while trying to create...

Why doesn’t Automator offer the ability to schedule running workflows without the help of...
May 13th
phillip: Happy Mother’s Day! Note: Those were not my...
May 11th
Um. Group Karaoke dinner? I’m terrified
May 11th

Rrrgh

The Globe, one of my favorite “Eh, why not there?” places, removed the two best things...
May 10th
I just rick rolled an entire bar during Karaoke. Never gonna give you up!
May 9th
May 8th

The Plight of a Programmer

M: yo waddup
M: how r u?
Robert (Me): learning how to program for the ipod
M: program? like coding for it?
Robert (Me): yeah
M: huh what does that do?
Robert (Me): To make games for it
Robert (Me): at work
M: HAHA niice
Robert (Me): well, it is my job
M: to put stuff on ipods?
Robert (Me): to make games
M: oh ok, i want a game
M: but my ipod broke, do you also fix ipods?
Robert (Me): Remind me to slap you next time I see you
May 6th
May 5th
Warch Watch
I dare you to make sense of this video with no context.
May 4th
Swear to god this ad just came up on facebook.
May 3rd
I swear to god I went through this phase in my sophomore...
May 2nd

Apr

More of what my co-workers think of me.
Apr 30th

That word is KIND of a faux pas.

Me: (Playing pool with Mikey at a gay bar)
Stranger: (About 40-50 years old) (Approaches me)
Stranger: Hi. I have a question.
Me: Shoot.
Stranger: Are you negro?
Me: ... Um. I'm half black, half irish.
Stranger: Thanks. (walks away)
Me: (thinking) Oh my god, I'm going to get hate crimed tonight.
Apr 29th
More of what my company thinks of me.
Apr 29th
Mikey: when i came back, there were two moose INSIDE the house, one on the deck, and my mom was screaming and sobbing. i looked down and half of her leg was missing. i looked at the moose and it was hanging out of his mouth.
Mikey: and then i woke up.
Me: ...
Me: Mikey.
Me: Do you realize that that is the most ludicrous thing ever?
Apr 27th
phillip: 3 Musketeers made with dark chocolate and cherry...
Apr 22nd
Apr 18th

Twitter spamminess

topherchris: If you’re following more than 2,000 people on Twitter and only 100 are following you,...
Apr 16th

This is exactly why I hate Google

I’m doing work on a ASP.Net site that will use the Google API. I’m already using the...
Apr 16th
Some stuff from my typography class.
Apr 16th
Some stuff from my typography class.
Apr 16th
“Imitating paper on a computer screen is like tearing the...”
— Ted Nelson (via...
Apr 15th
Me, pissed off that none of the printers in this building...
Apr 15th
Yes it is purple.
Apr 15th
Warch Watch
nilskraus: johnnyfive: skylorsmusic: Daft Punk Hader Bodies the homoerotic version for all the...
Apr 13th
Protip: When posting pictures of yourself to an Internet...
Apr 12th
david: Type “listen” on the Dashboard to activate it.  Did...
Apr 11th
I know i said i wouldn’t drunk Blog any more, but why the Fuck is Carson kressly [The Lead...
Apr 11th
Apr 10th
Going though some old pictures
Apr 10th
Bloggers - placing themselves in mortal...
Apr 9th
for some god forsaken reason, they put two shots of espresso in my cappucino, and now I’m...
Apr 9th
Stranger: Awww, he's leaving!
Me: (thinking) Huh. I could have gotten laid tonight.
Apr 9th