Someone should tell the internet that...
Oct 29th
I imagine that this is how Phil spends most of his weekends.
Oct 28th
I am an educator
Jimmy: *reading aloud from Wikipedia page* "A Daisy Chain also refers to the sexual act of three or more people both performing and receiving oral sex simultaneously".Amy (Secretary in other room): Um, what are you guys doing?
Dave: *closes door*
Jimmy: Go away! Robert's teaching us the ways!
Oct 25th
A normal day at work
Robert: Okay, but when I play test the [dress up] game, I'm just going to blast Supermodel by Ru Paul the entire time. You know. You gotta work.Jay: Yeah, that's okay... so long as you can avoid being killed by Jimmy
Robert: I can run.
Chris: Yeah, you look like a runner.
Robert: Why chris? 'cos I'm black? 'cos I run from the cops?
Jay: Probably because you could steal his bike.
Chris: No! I mea- I just... I just mean you look like one of those guys who wins the boston marathon!
Oct 24th
Josh: I lived in AR (the scar's on my inner lip, and felt more than seen) and a relative had a go-kart in his back yard. And really, it was more of a clothesline pole, but it was big, thick, and wooden, so. It LOOKED like a telephone pole.
Robert Gable: you should tell people you got it from makin' out too damn hard
Josh: Then they wouldn't want to make out with me, Robert.
Robert Gable: you should tell people you got it from makin' out too damn hard
Josh: Then they wouldn't want to make out with me, Robert.
Oct 16th
Watch
Okay, it’s official, Andy Samberg is awesome.
Oct 15th
Polgar: i'm cold. :{
Robert: Quilt?
Polgar: Quilts make me masturbate.
Polgar: They're like, "Stain us!"
Robert: Quilt?
Polgar: Quilts make me masturbate.
Polgar: They're like, "Stain us!"
Oct 13th
Porn.
Robert: Lumberjack gangbang isn't very good :{Polgar: Was that the one with the tattoos?
Robert: No.
Robert: it's the one with the lumberjacks.
Polgar: Don't delete it yet!
Robert: Okay. but I don't think you'll like it.
Robert: Regardless of how many lumberjacks are in it.
Polgar: Well, still.
Oct 12th
One of many similar conversations at the...
Jay (Boss): Yeah, I think the big caffeinated drinks are Jolt Cola and Bawls.Robert (From other room): I LOVE BAWLS.
Jay: Robert is officially an employee here, now that he has shouted "I Love Balls".
Oct 9th
What's the point of all these fonts if...
Oct 9th
I started listening to The Bird and The Bee today. I like...
Oct 7th
All my stories have come to a conclusion
It’s time for a new chapter to begin.
Oct 6th
the kind of day where it takes me at least five seconds to realize I missed my armpit with my spray...
Oct 5th
A few days ago
Adam: Well, look, things will turn up. After all, nice guys finish first.Robert: Are... are you serious?
Adam: What?
Robert: LAST, man. Nice guys finish LAST.
Adam: ... Oh.
Oct 3rd
Robert: Did you have to chug that wine?
Adam: I didn't chug it.
Robert: Then why is it gone?
Adam: I drank it!
Adam: I didn't chug it.
Robert: Then why is it gone?
Adam: I drank it!
Oct 3rd
Robert: I need to post more sexy pictures of me on the internet.
John: Good luck with THAT.
Adam: You're mean!
Robert: He said hookers wouldn't sleep with me!
John: Canadian hookers, dude!
Robert: What difference does it make?!
John: Canadian hookers have higher standards, man!
John: GOD, I'm Cool.
John: Good luck with THAT.
Adam: You're mean!
Robert: He said hookers wouldn't sleep with me!
John: Canadian hookers, dude!
Robert: What difference does it make?!
John: Canadian hookers have higher standards, man!
John: GOD, I'm Cool.
Oct 1st
Robert: are... are we talking about your penis?
Josh: (We are talking about my penis.)
Josh: (We are talking about my penis.)
Oct 1st
I got the job!
Oct 1st