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2010

December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February

2009

June 25
May 25
April 42
March 39
January 42

2008

June 15
May 20
April 31
March 52
January 31

2007

June 35
May 46
April 33
March 22
January
Robert: I need to post more sexy pictures of me on the internet.
John: Good luck with THAT.
Adam: You're mean!
Robert: He said hookers wouldn't sleep with me!
John: Canadian hookers, dude!
Robert: What difference does it make?!
John: Canadian hookers have higher standards, man!
John: GOD, I'm Cool.
Oct 1st
Robert: are... are we talking about your penis?
Josh: (We are talking about my penis.)
Oct 1st
I got the job!
Oct 1st
“In the gay community, not only are you not allowed to be...”
— Chemda of Keith and the Girl...
Sep 30th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 29th
“What happens in my mouth, stays in my mouth.”
— Nick Dennis, eg, some guy who...
Sep 28th

I shaved my pubes and there is nobody...

That having been said, I’m never that sure about how much I enjoy shaving down under. I mean,...
Sep 27th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 26th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 26th

I hate when employers say "You'll...

Sep 26th
Stephen Tornero: sidenote: you have a white guy voice.
Stephen Tornero: (discuss?)
Robert: ? you called me ,like, once. And you heard my voicemail.
Robert: I just have a fuckin' goofy voice.
Stephen Tornero: oh.
Stephen Tornero: apparently penis size has no affect on vocal pitch.
Robert: half black from the waist down?
Stephen Tornero: good enough for me.
Sep 26th
“No more talky talky, penguin! House is on.”
— John Fletcher says weird...
Sep 25th

The Worst Analogy Ever

Chris: ow
Chris: i just got a popcorn kernal stabbed into my gums
Chris: i hate when that happens
Robert: It's worse with life cereal
Robert: that shit's sharp mang
Chris: i dont like life cereal
Chris: actually
Chris: i dont like cereal
Robert: We're not friends anymore.
Chris: ...
(sometime later)
Robert: I'm not saying eggs aren't good
Robert: and everyone knows that bacon is god
Robert: Except for jewish people who, honestly, I just feel bad for
Robert: But cereal is essential to the american lifestyle
Chris: no its not
Chris: its not like sex
Chris: sex is essential
Chris: cereal is a choice
Chris: there are so many better things
Chris: why settle for cereal
Chris: its like
Chris: if you are in a room
Chris: with two other people
Chris: who both wannna have sex with you
Chris: and one is hot
Chris: and the other is not
Chris: you fuck the hot one and toss the other one aside
Robert: Remind me to never have a threesome with you
Chris: why
Chris: were you planning on it?
Robert: No, but clearly your threesome manenrs are lacking
Sep 25th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 25th
I used to listen to this Band (Bis) before they became this...
Sep 24th

LSDream

I had a dream, and I really don’t remember where it took place, but I feel like… was I...
Sep 24th

I feel oddly enlightened

and I can’t exactly say why. It felt like, just now, a giant burden was lifted from my...
Sep 23rd
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 23rd
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 22nd
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 19th
Fuck John, and fuck his Wineverygame.com shit
Sep 18th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 17th

Posted after yet another awful...

When Adam and I were arguing yesterday morning, and I stood in front of the window, watching the...
Sep 16th

Sorry about that last one.

Chris: way to have an emo post
Robert: Yeah, I was not in a good mood
Chris: i can see that
Robert: I got better though! :3
Chris: lol
Chris: between this morning and now
Robert: Between last night and now
Chris: same diff
Chris: it was technically this morning
Chris: cuz it says the 16th
Chris: so there
Chris: :-P
Robert: I considered deleting it, but I'd rather leave it there to embarrass me
Sep 16th

God, I'm lonely

Right this moment, I feel like there is no one on God’s green earth that I can trust but...
Sep 16th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 16th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 15th
Aurora: i just realized you have the same birthday as lorna
Robert: Who?
Aurora: you're going to be 21, right?
Aurora: you guys are the same age
Aurora: loooorna
Aurora: pretty much my bestest bud here
Robert: I met someone who had the same birthday as me once
Robert: she was a stone cold bitch
Robert: I should have broken her legs
Aurora: hahaha
Aurora: lorna is pretty sweet
Robert: SHE BETTER BE
Aurora: lorna's legs are already broken
Robert: Oh yeah?
Aurora: well
Aurora: she has chronic shin splints
Aurora: she ices them every night
Aurora: we call her ice bags
Robert: Maybe it's to hide that she's a vampire
Aurora: vampires are big on icing?
Robert: Oh yeah
Robert: can't get enough of the stuff
Sep 12th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 12th

"What happened to us? It used to be so...

Polgar: Hey!
Polgar: I woke up!
Riot: yay!
Riot: What's up.
Polgar: Who is us, and what used to be nice?
Polgar: popquiz, answeransweranswer!
Riot: that's not my away message anymore
Polgar: i know, but it was, and i wanna know what it was, cuz it sounds cryptic!
Riot: I was being emo, because I started to think about if Chris ever did like me, because you asked that question [Note: Apparently the belief is that I was in denial about Chris ever liking me]
Riot: And I remembered things like Chris texting me Dashboard confessional lyrics and saying it was about us, coming over every night to talk and sleep, and all the genuine moments there were.
Polgar: awwwww
Riot: I don't know how it went from there to here, to him saying he didn't care about my feelings, and probably using me more than he thinks he did
Riot: 'cos he was always honest with me when we were together
Riot: and I think part of why this was so shocking for me was because I thought things were happening like they were before, when in fact, they were entirely different.
Riot: And maybe I heard echoes of everything he said a summer ago.
Polgar: what's worse is that he knew that you saw things differently than he did, and he didn't bother to set you straight
Polgar: It's not worth thinking about, though, I've gotta say
Polgar: I've been there
Riot: I didn't want to think about it, but you asked a question I had to answer.
Sep 11th

I think that one becomes a man when one...

It is a quality I’ve tried to embody for the past few years now, and is a quality that I would...
Sep 10th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 9th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 9th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 8th
(via Robert Gable’s Facebook Status Updates)
Sep 5th

What it's like to be drunk and Robert

Robert: *calls Chris outside*
Girl: Hey!
Robert: ?
Girl: Hey! You! Are you an indian?
Robert: Athiest?
Girl: ..?
Robert: Am I an athiest?
Girl: No, INDIAN.
Robert: *hangs up*
Robert: Athiest?
Girl: Come HERE.
Robert: *walks over*
Robert: Am I an athiest? like. I don't believe in god?
Girl: n... no. Are you an INDIAN?
Robert: OH. No, I'm half black, half Irish.
Girl: OHMYGOD
Chris: *calls Robert*
Girl: What are you, too popular for us?
Robert: hahah... yeah.
*moments later*
Chris: *walks over*
Robert: *tackles Chris*
Chris: *Is on phone*
Robert: ...
Girl: Hey!
Robert: ?
Girl: HEY WE'RE TALKING TO YOU
Robert: *walks over*
Girl: Where you from?
Robert: New York!
Girl: No shit! She's from queens. Where?
Robert: Manhattan. I'm a Chelsea boy.
Girl: Nah. You go to machine?
Robert: I'm not 21!
Girl: Get a fake! We'll go there. It'll be awesome.
I guess their names were Roche and Petba? Pitba? Anyway. I'll probably see them at some gay club later.
Sep 4th
“Dude, he can lick your balls while you’re fucking him!”
— John Fletcher, describing...
Sep 1st