Burn Tumblr!

How to derail a conversation: Part One

Mikey: know what's awkward?
Me: Having a guy jizz in your mouth and then realizing that he's too gross to swallow?
Me: and then having to try to ask for a towel or napkin to spit it into without accidentally swallowing it?
Mikey: um.... yeah.
Mikey: that's awkward.
Me: Yeah.
Me: I hate that.
Me: It's like
Me: "Just another friday!"
Me: right?
Mikey: i was going to say meeting a guy on facebook
Me: and then he cums in your mouth and you don't want it, etcetera?
Mikey: uuh, yeah.
Me: Yeah, that's the pits!
Me: So I take it you've had a lot of strange dicks in your mouth recently then?
Me: since you brought it up.
Mikey: *sigh*

Just gave myself some first & second degree burns ...

I Am Poor

Mikey: i am soooo excited about tomorrow though.
Me: Oh yeah?
Mikey: john's parties are where i get to be completely sexually uninhibited.
Mikey: aka get trashed and pass out naked in the hot tub.
Me: While everyone else has completely rational conversation around you
Mikey: ha! i know, right?

Me: So, let me get this straight. You ate 220% of your Daily Value of Saturated Fat by gorging yourself on cookies, two meals at Mcdonalds, and drinking half a carton of eggnog, and now you're going to balance it out by getting high and drinking ten Red Bulls?
Casey: What's wrong with that?

Work as usual.

“I just don’t want him to see my lobster-colored ass.”
— Mikey, after a trip to the...

SUSHI POPE

A serious thought

Maybe this is just me, but I find part of me deciding whether I’m seriously interested in...

Jimmy: SAINTS PERSERVE US I'M IN OIR-LAND
Jimmy: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
Jimmy: I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER
Me: quotable
Me: YOUR INTERNETS IS RUNNING OUT
Jimmy: 1 min
Jimmy: what shall i do
Me: IT IS WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL A "TIME CRISIS"
Me: asianthumbs.com
Jimmy: i have two hours to kill and a huge backpack
Jimmy: 50 seconds
Jimmy: oh god this is not a real link
Jimmy: this just goes to another thumb page!
Jimmy: THIS IS A RUSE
Jimmy: LINK SHARING
Jimmy: I AM AGHAST
Me: AND DOOMED
Me: DOOMBED
Jimmy: HOW DO I GET REAL FOTOS
Jimmy: doombed!
Jimmy: oh god no 11 seconds
Jimmy: quick
Me: http://www.meatspin.com
Meebo Message: Jimmy is offline

What's Your Tumblr Number?

barbara:         David’s Mom:  46!  Go figure! joelaz: Tumblr assigns a sequential number...

Me: why the fuck didn't you RSVP
John: cuz i wanted to know what moderately expensive meant
Me: and I told you what it meant
John: yet left me wanting soo much more
Me: that's the mark of a good lover
John: no, that's the mark of a terrible lover
John: what is wrong with you
John: a good lover leaves you fullfilled and asleep
Me: pshhh
Me: that's much less exciting
John: i sir do not care for this blue balls wanting more crap that you are selling
Me: It's not my fault you treat sexual opportunities as a going out of business sale and stuff everything into your grocery cart to hoard up for the long winter
John: oh man, you just called me a sexual bag lady, it is so on!!!!
Me: Bring it
John: consider it brung biznitch

Cupcakes from my co-workers for my birhday. The dripping...

Actual Notes found on Chris's Computer...

the last TWSS: armageddon TWSS-land ceases to exist one guy says to the other guy: “Geez, I...