Burn Tumblr!

“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes:...”
— Aristotle (via zehnuhr) (via...

I wish I had realized one could fuck...

Teacher: Robert, wake up! Wake up!
Me: Ugh. Sorry, I kept having nightmares last night about my dead cat.
Teacher: What? I'm sorry. Nightmares?
Me: Yeah.
Teacher: That's terrible. When did your cat die?
Me: About a year ago, I think.
Teacher: Was it violent?
Me: No... It was very peaceful. It was a good death.
Teacher: So, you're having nightmares about your dead cat who died peacefully.
Me: Yeah.
Teacher: Are you on something?
Me: Drugs?
Teacher: I mean, really, because if you're hallucinating without any drugs, that's pretty bad.
Me: Well, I'm not on any right now, but if you're offering...
Teacher: *stares in dumbstruck silence*
Me: *maintains eye contact*
Class: *slowly and awkwardly laughs*

Google, you fucks. Way to do what you do best. Plagiarise...

I think every group of homosexuals has a mental chart of who...

david: Microsoft just handed me the most disgusting liquor. Vista Vodka? Mojave Mojito? Word...

It's been hours and no one has said...

I sketched up a tumblr Design for a friend, but I...

I find it strikingly strange when things I’ve quoted or posted on my Tumblr show up on...

I feel sorry for people named Alana.

‘cos everytime I read their name, I at first read “Anal.” Sorry, Morisette....

I love Seth Rogen.

It took even less time for Roomie to...