Look, if I ever write an email client, which isn’t that far fetched, I promise you that I will...
May 31st
(via splitbrain)
May 31st
XKCD knows my pain.
May 29th
“I need a jacket to protect me from the elements, like...”
— Look, I’m really tired...
— Look, I’m really tired...
May 29th
Me: Why is there a broken condom wrapper in my closet?
Me: Did I have sex in here?
Me: Maybe someone else had sex in here...
Me: And didn't invite me?
Me: Boy, that was rude of them.
Me: Did I have sex in here?
Me: Maybe someone else had sex in here...
Me: And didn't invite me?
Me: Boy, that was rude of them.
May 29th
You guys, this is a real game coming out, you guys.
May 26th
The 30 Rock Drinking Game we just made...
Drink every time Tracy says someone’s full name. Drink every time Jenna steals the spotlight....
May 26th
Things my Girlfriend and I have argued about
May 23rd
Listen
tylercoates:
Crime Mob - “Stilettos (Peaches Remix)”
May 21st
“If you were Helen Keller, wouldn’t you be sleepy all...”
— A co-worker.
— A co-worker.
May 20th
More things that only happen in my head
Roomie: (Walks in on me in the bathroom)Roomie: Ew!
Me: Uh...
Me: Hi! I'm Troy McClure!
Me: You may remember me from times such as as when I peed sitting down!
May 16th
My Friends are Whores, Version 3. I’m in the middle!...
May 16th
I'm 22
Wasn’t I supposed to stop fantasizing about having super powers by now?
May 15th
My opinion regarding Twitter (the irony...
Me: your twitter is exhaustingly inaneCoworker: You're exhaustingly inane!
Me: yeah
Me: but at least I don't broadcast it on the internet
Coworker: Well, my friends on Twitter don't mind reading it, so that's that.
Me: your friends on twitter
Me: are idiots.
May 13th
Ohio U does riots right!
May 10th
I may have gone too gay on this one
Adam: I think that shirt's just too tight.Me: I don't know. I'm going to ask Paul.
Adam: You look skeletory.
Me: "Skeletory"? I think you mean 'skeletal'.
Adam: No, skeletory, like, in the style of Skeletor.
May 10th
Every gay dude has
Ever buy something knowing there is a very good chance that you will try it on later and think,...
May 9th
MY TUMBLARITY SUCKS
May 7th
I Want to GOP to There
May 7th
Boss: (Runs in excitedly) We got Maine! The gays got Maine!
Me: Oh great, one more state I never want to visit that I can get married in.
Me: Oh great, one more state I never want to visit that I can get married in.
May 6th
I didn't say she stole my money
May 6th
My day at the office is spent
Listening to Keith and the Girl, working on a PMS system codenamed “Tamp”, and sending...
May 5th
I can't even count how many of my...
Is it because I keep talking about how much I wanna blow someone in a movie theater?
May 4th
I graduated yesterday
Teacher: Here, you get an honors cord!Me: (Thinking) Oh boy, something to autoerotic asphyxiate myself with!
May 2nd
I love picturesforsadchildren.com
May 2nd