I HAVE THE WORST LIFE
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Me:Okay, time to leave.
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Me:OH SHIT
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Me:The host of the party is making out with the Guy with Cerebral Palsy right outside the door!
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Me:Okay, I can leave. Be cool, man.
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Host:OH HEY *stops making out with Palsy* Are you leaving?
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Me:Yeah.
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Host:Do you have that other guy's raspberry vodka?
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Me:... No. *goes to leave*
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Host:*grabs on to my backpack*
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Me:*continues walking*
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Host:*falls down, because he is holding on to my backpack*
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Palsy:*falls down, because he is holding hands with the guy who is holding on to my backpack*
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Host:OW
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Host:MY KNEE IS BLEEDING
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Me:Let me see
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Host:NO MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT BUT I CAN TOTALLY FEEL IT DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG
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Me:Oh.
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Me:I'm sorry.
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Host:DO YOU HAVE THAT RASPBERRY VODKA
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Me:No
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Host:LOOK I CAN HEAR IT CLINKING AROUND IN YOUR BAG
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Me:Okay, yes.
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Me:*takes raspberry vodka out of backpack*
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Me:Uh.
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Me:Can I get a hug so I know I'll be invited to your next party?
